I wrote this blog post a few years ago for Beyond Romance when Lisabet Sarai kindly invited me to post after the release of my first novel, “From Leather to Lace”. I thought I’d re-post it here.
BDSM has always intrigued me. I think it’s a combination of things – the lifestyle, the toys, the Dominant/submissive aspect and of course the naughtiness! I can spend hours on the Internet studying BDSM paraphernalia and BDSM websites – all in the name of novel research of course!
Dominant heroes also give me a thrill. You know the type – the quintessential alpha male. The hero with the brooding, dominant and possessive qualities all wrapped up in one yummy, handsome and masculine package!
A number of years ago, in Sydney CBD there was a nightclub called The Black Market Café that on Thursday evenings became The Hellfire Club. One Thursday evening I decided that it would be a good idea to check this club out. So, outfitted in suitably sexy attire and with a number of friends along for encouragement, I ventured into the bowels of Sydney’s BDSM scene.
Well, it was an eye-opener! It’s difficult to adequately describe everything that could be found within the walls of The Hellfire Club. Of course, it was the epitome of what one imagines a BDSM club to be – dark and sinister with an abundance of scantily clad staff and patrons. Black leather and latex were the textiles of choice, with a “less is more” attitude –suddenly in my crop top, jeans and stilettos I felt woefully overdressed. Never one to shy away from a challenge, however, I took all this in my stride – head held high and oozing with the confidence that only a few pre-night-out drinks can produce.
Dotted throughout the club were numerous, what I can best describe as, pens – small enclosures featuring various BDSM scenes in action. There were pens containing benches and people receiving spankings, pens featuring animal play and others still showcasing mind-boggling sexual acts. I quickly realised that I had left the ordinary and entered the extraordinary.
It wasn’t long before I met Matthew, one of the Hellfire staff members – a young, bare-chested guy, with great abs, dressed in black leather chaps. He informed me helpfully to tap him on the shoulder at any time and he will gladly whip me! Well, that was an offer too good to refuse and after some enthusiastic encouragement from my girlfriends (less so, from my male friends!) I headed into the main area of the club. This was a large, central area, in the middle and at the front of which, was a cordoned off space, separating the patrons from the BDSM equipment and play. Outside the barrier, people were crowded, six deep watching the BDSM arena with interest. Before I thought too deeply about what I was about to do, I caught the eye of my sexy Dominant, Matthew, and within a blink of an eye, I was surfing across the crowd, to be deposited within the main circle.
What followed was largely a blur, although I do recall the salient points. First of which was the fact that Matthew gave me three hand signals to use regarding the force of the whip strikes which I was to use to indicate milder, harder and stop. He then requested that I remove all of my clothing apart from my thong – I still can’t believe that I did this whilst standing in front of a crowd of curious onlookers – must have been an adrenaline rush to the head! When I was naked but for my thong, he bound me, back facing the crowd, by my ankles and wrists to a St Andrews Cross. Then he started to whip me.
I must admit that it didn’t hurt as much as I initially anticipated and in fact, what I felt most keenly was exhilaration and an odd sense of achievement. I lost count of the lashes Matthew carefully administered to my back and butt (the following day, however, I was left with very definite red welts marking the whip trajectory). Then he was undoing the bindings and spinning me around to re-bind me with my front now facing the crowd. This position was a little more confronting for me but I quickly pushed aside my anxiety, after all, it wasn’t that much different from going topless at the beach – right? All thoughts fled my brain however when Matthew affixed clamps to my nipples – WTF! He pre-empted his actions with a raised, questioning, eyebrow but I still gasped in shock as the cold steel pinched my tender flesh. After the initial sting, a dull throb set in that wasn’t exactly painful but all the same, I couldn’t forget the fact that I had clamps attached to my nipples.
Next came the hot wax, which Matthew dripped across my chest and stomach. It wasn’t hot enough to burn but it was hot enough to produce a very warm, tingling sensation wherever it hit my flesh. He was thorough and not one part of my chest and abdomen was spared the hot wax treatment, with some serious tweaking of the nipple clamps thrown in for good measure.
I can’t forget the noise of the crowd packed around me and the shouted comments and encouragement. The whole experience was bizarre but exciting at the same time. I guess that started my fascination with BDSM and my interest in injecting a little (or a lot) of BDSM into my novels.